I really want somebody to find this and read it.

PS: I just want to put it out there that I am so utterly lonely and desperate for romance right now in my life. I need somebody steady right now more than ever. I want a boy to fall asleep next to, to hold hands with at the movies, to picnic in Forsyth Park with, to ride bikes with, to teach me things that I'm too embarrassed to do on my own, to go to concerts with me, to make me breakfast and lunch and dinner, to call me just to tell me he was sorry he couldn't call me, someone steady.

Dan was the only guy I've ever had that came close to that and even then we were just barely 17 and it had way too many limitations. I want so desperately to be a part of a mature, real relationship. I'm sick of always ending up as the "friend with benefits"... guys who allow that situation obviously care a great deal for me. I need somebody to genuinely love me right now, so badly. I just need it. I can't explain that well, I don't think, but my life is so difficult right now and the only steady thing in it is Kim who, once again, has her boyfriend and now is only half there for me. I need somebody I can count on and I don't know where to find him.

Please, please don't make me live like this much longer... it hurts so badly.