It's time for an update.

We have our share of fights. It's hard being 1,000 miles away from him because I know he has no idea how to deal with this. I want him to be happy and I don't know how to make him happy. The only thing that would truly make him happy would be for me to come home, and I just can't do that... I need to be at this school, finishing my education, earning my degree.

Anyways, the reasoning behind this post was to say how completely, utterly in love with George I am. I don't know if he really knows it. I try to show him as much as I can, but it's hard once again as we're 1,000 miles away from each other.

I really want this to work. Our only real ongoing problem is his jealousy....other than that we work together really well and I could definitely spend every day of the rest of my life with him. I'm being patient and seeing what changes with time and what simply will stay the same. We do fight a lot but it's all because he's still in high school and hasn't experienced college so he doesn't really have any idea what I do and what I'm going through. I think maybe if he came and visited and saw my life he would understand a little more. I love him so much, I just can't help but love him. He's wonderful.

The best thing about our relationship is that for like two years before we even started hanging out, we talked to each other about the most important things in our lives and for whatever reason that I can't be sure of I trusted him above many others. Maybe it's because he never gave me a reason not to. He was without fail there when I needed somebody to whine to about the most meaningless crap. I always ignored his requests to actually hang out for whatever reason, UNTIL:

One night when I was talking to him and upset over a lot of crap in my life, he said this:

georgie haastyle: all i'm going to say is, please please, look around you, next time you're down.
georgie haastyle: look and see who really cares.
georgie haastyle: and honestly, if you look hard enough, i'll be there.

and

georgie haastyle: you're an amazing girl, and anyone would be a fucking moron to not notice the love you'd be willing to give them, and not to mention the fact that you're a very attractive girl. you should have guys coming after you left and right by the time you reach age even 21.
georgie haastyle: if you end up being like your mother, when you're a mother, i'd love to be the man you're married to.
georgie haastyle: i didn't know your mother very much, but from what you've told me, she was an amazing woman.
stACEEEEyyyyy: you're a wonderful human being and i hope you know that, and not because you compliment me all the time

In that conversation I realized how amazing he really is and I decided to hang out with him finally. And so we did the next night, with my friends Amy and Tony J. And from the minute I picked him up I just felt like I wanted to be more than just friends with him. I wanted to be next to him and be the one he paid the most attention to. I wanted to make him happy....

I'm so lucky to have found him and thankful that I decided to stop being shallow and to give him a chance. He makes me so happy (except when we fight...). So this post is for him. In a venue where I don't feel guilty/insecure for saying it,

I love you, George.