Trying to justify how I feel..
Ok, so I feel really neglected and abandoned by my boyfriend and I want to try to write it all out.
Tonight he is going to a Boston Bruins game with a few of his friends. He told me before, so I knew he was going, and was apprehensive already about him spending the entire night out, unable to talk to me. I knew he was probably going to leave around 3:30 to get to the train station for 4, so I wanted to utilize the time beforehand to talk to him.
If it were me going out all night, I'd call him as soon as I got the chance to maximize the time we got to talk. But he doesn't think like that. He didn't rush home from school to talk to me. I'm having a lot of trouble understanding that thought process when it's not how I think. When I know we have minimal time together, I try to spend as much time as possible with him/talking to him as I can. He's just not the same way, and as hard as I try I just cannot understand it.
So, of course, as would be typical of our relationship, he gets a phone call saying the train is leaving 45 minutes earlier than planned and so he had to hang up the phone after having talked for less than a half hour. And I know he isn't going to be bothering to think about me or talk to me all night. He's driving to the train station, and then he'd much rather spend time with his friends than talk to me.
He does this to me and makes me feel completely abandoned and like I care about him so much more than he cares about me. I feel like I think about him first, and I do things relating to him first, and I don't feel the same is true for him. I don't feel like I *ever* come first to him. I feel like I just "fit in" where possible. He came home from school today and had a conversation about a comic book character with his stepdad instead of calling me.
...I just want to feel like I'm his first priority, like he thinks of me FIRST, and his friends/comic books/video games second. *Sigh* I don't know what to do. I don't know how to express myself any more than I already have, but I can't take the feeling I get when he goes out and ignores me for an entire night.
Tonight he is going to a Boston Bruins game with a few of his friends. He told me before, so I knew he was going, and was apprehensive already about him spending the entire night out, unable to talk to me. I knew he was probably going to leave around 3:30 to get to the train station for 4, so I wanted to utilize the time beforehand to talk to him.
If it were me going out all night, I'd call him as soon as I got the chance to maximize the time we got to talk. But he doesn't think like that. He didn't rush home from school to talk to me. I'm having a lot of trouble understanding that thought process when it's not how I think. When I know we have minimal time together, I try to spend as much time as possible with him/talking to him as I can. He's just not the same way, and as hard as I try I just cannot understand it.
So, of course, as would be typical of our relationship, he gets a phone call saying the train is leaving 45 minutes earlier than planned and so he had to hang up the phone after having talked for less than a half hour. And I know he isn't going to be bothering to think about me or talk to me all night. He's driving to the train station, and then he'd much rather spend time with his friends than talk to me.
He does this to me and makes me feel completely abandoned and like I care about him so much more than he cares about me. I feel like I think about him first, and I do things relating to him first, and I don't feel the same is true for him. I don't feel like I *ever* come first to him. I feel like I just "fit in" where possible. He came home from school today and had a conversation about a comic book character with his stepdad instead of calling me.
...I just want to feel like I'm his first priority, like he thinks of me FIRST, and his friends/comic books/video games second. *Sigh* I don't know what to do. I don't know how to express myself any more than I already have, but I can't take the feeling I get when he goes out and ignores me for an entire night.
posted by Stacey @ 3:32 PM
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