Blahh.

I only write in here when I feel like getting stuff off my chest but don't want to air out dirty laundry somewhere where I know people will SEE it, like Myspace or LiveJournal or what have you.

I've been getting myself involved with the exact wrong guy, for all the wrong reasons. He's that quintessential charismatic bad guy, who can make you forgive him for any wrong doing with one smile and a line from his inevitable arsenal full of them. He was over in the UK living for a few months and I started talking to him a few weeks before he came home. He acted like he was so excited to come home and see me and be with me, but ever since he came home he has had trouble calling me any time earlier than 3 in the morning for a very-late-night booty call.

I really.. 'like'.. him. I mean I don't like HIM but I like the idea of him, I loved cuddling with him and the smell of him and all those things. I hate that he only cares to call me after all is said and done and no one else is around. His mistake is thinking I'd actually come over at 3 am, because I won't. I deserve someone who WANTS to be around me, who can't stop thinking about me... I don't know why I'm wasting my time on anything else.

I just don't think there IS anyone out there who will ever feel that way about me, and I don't get why... I think a guy would be lucky to have me. :(