Sing me to sleep

Sing me to sleep
Sing me to sleep
I'm tired and I
I want to go to bed
Sing me to sleep
Sing me to sleep
And then leave me alone
Don't try to wake me in the morning
'Cause I will be gone
Don't feel bad for me
I want you to know
Deep in the cell of my heart
I will feel so glad to go
Sing me to sleep
Sing me to sleep
I don't want to wake up
On my own anymore
Sing to me
Sing to me
I don’t want to wake up
On my own any more
Don't feel bad for me
I want you to know
Deep in the cell of my heart
I really want to go
There is another world
There is a better world
Well, there must be
Well, there must be
Bye bye

Despite my paralyzing fear of death, the other night I prayed to God that if my life isn't going to get any better, that he would take me away from this life instead of make me wish I had the courage to do it myself.

Blahh.

I only write in here when I feel like getting stuff off my chest but don't want to air out dirty laundry somewhere where I know people will SEE it, like Myspace or LiveJournal or what have you.

I've been getting myself involved with the exact wrong guy, for all the wrong reasons. He's that quintessential charismatic bad guy, who can make you forgive him for any wrong doing with one smile and a line from his inevitable arsenal full of them. He was over in the UK living for a few months and I started talking to him a few weeks before he came home. He acted like he was so excited to come home and see me and be with me, but ever since he came home he has had trouble calling me any time earlier than 3 in the morning for a very-late-night booty call.

I really.. 'like'.. him. I mean I don't like HIM but I like the idea of him, I loved cuddling with him and the smell of him and all those things. I hate that he only cares to call me after all is said and done and no one else is around. His mistake is thinking I'd actually come over at 3 am, because I won't. I deserve someone who WANTS to be around me, who can't stop thinking about me... I don't know why I'm wasting my time on anything else.

I just don't think there IS anyone out there who will ever feel that way about me, and I don't get why... I think a guy would be lucky to have me. :(