...why am I in a relationship where the person I'm dating doesn't even CARE about me?

Just tell me that. I'm more depressed than I've ever been in my entire life, and all he ever does is ignore me.



He loves his friends; he doesn't love me.

I was actually going to post this publicly..

All George ever does is treat me like absolute shit. I'd like for someone to tell me why I allow it to happen. Why am I so weak that I can't break up with someone who is so terrible to me? He lies to me all the time ("by omission"; ie, he conveniently leaves details out of what he tells me, on basically a daily basis). He ignores me all the time, including tonight, which he did on purpose.

Let me quote a text from George, "You're being annoying so I'm ignoring you." That is taking things one step too fucking far in a relationship. You don't ignore the other person on purpose. My father never did it to my mother, nor did she do it to him. Why do I allow this to go on??? I told him not to talk to me until he could apologize sincerely with reasons WHY ignoring me on purpose is wrong. If he can't do that, he's not worth dating, and I promise, I PROMISE, that no matter how hard it is for me, I will leave him.

Because I know I'll be heartbroken and I know I'll miss him, but I have to remember that even though he has wonderful qualities about him, he's spent the majority of the last 8 months completely walking all over me and expecting for me only to be around when it's convenient for him. He wants a part-time girlfriend. He wants someone who won't get mad that he does whatever he wants, whenever he wants; but someone who isn't allowed to do whatever SHE wants, whenever she wants, because that means she won't always be available for his convenience!

Well I told him (several times, most recent being tonight) that that's not who I fucking am, and I won't let him treat me that way. I sat there on the phone crying, but of course, instead of feeling bad he just told me how annoying it is when I cry. Because my feelings don't matter, only how annoying it is for him to listen to.

I'm absolutely just sick of this!!!! It's kind of ironic that just last night I went to sleep literally smiling because I couldn't remember the last time George and I fought, and then I remembered it was our last big blowout and that we had been doing well since then. Silly me, I thought that was because he was putting effort into making positive steps in our relationship. I was so, so wrong. He doesn't make positive steps. He just does things to shut me up. He texts me to shut me up, he calls me to shut me up, he tells me he loves me to shut me up. None of it's real; it can't be. How could it possibly, when he does shit like this to me daily?? I am to the point where when he says he loves me, 90% of me doesn't believe him.

That's fucked. He's fucked, and I'm fucked for letting him treat me this way. I'm such a fool...

Grow up already.

You're so immature I can hardly stand it. You're a spoiled little brat. Your dad gives you everything you want, and if he doesn't, you whine and complain until he does. You hate your mom because she doesn't always give you what you want and she actually makes you do chores.

What gives me the right to call you out on it? Because when I was your age, I was just like you. JUST like you. But then my mother died. And then I grew up. You spent yesterday complaining that your parents aren't going to get you what you want this upcoming Christmas. The Christmas my mother was diagnosed with cancer, my most expensive gift was a $40 pair of headphones. And do you know something? That was the happiest Christmas of my entire life--because it wasn't at all about the gifts, it was about spending time with the two people in the world I love above anybody else.

You desperately need to stop being so damn selfish and start thinking of the people around you. Your mother is due to have a new baby in November but all YOU can think about is your own Christmas. How UTTERLY DISGUSTING!!!!!

Your away message right now says, "I'm more mature than 85% of the people in the world, fyi. I deal with more shit, without flipping out, in one day, than most people deal with in a month. So don't EVER fucking call me immature again. Through the shit I've been through in my life, I'm still standing, and so are you. Oh hey, look! We're both on the same levellll!" but I can tell you, as somebody who has spent the past 8 months with you/talking to you constantly, you are one of the most immature 17 year olds I've ever met.

As I said earlier, "get over yourself."

I changed the URL of this so my asshole boyfriend can't read it. He doesn't understand that NO ONE ELSE knows the address to this unless they accidentally stumbled across it (and those people are very welcome)...and that this is my personal journal STRICTLY for complaining.

He doesn't get why I don't post nice, happy things. I try to justify this by saying that I don't need to get happy things off my chest, but he just doesn't get it.

SOOO he lost privelages. We've been fighting nonstop for a while now on the phone and no matter how hard I try to end it he just keeps picking fights. "Anything else we can argue about?" he says. "Probably, but [I don't think we need to keep fighting]..." "Oh so there is? What is it? Let's here it, what are we going to argue about?"


Yeah. I'm so over that. I wish a) he could act like an adult, and/or b) I could grow a pair and leave him.